A Student of History

June 10, 2008

Dogs

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Maass @ 8:50 am

Why Dogs are Easier to Live with than Women…

  1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
  2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
  3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
  4. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  5. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
  6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
  7. A dog’s parents never visit.
  8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
  9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
  11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
  12. Dogs can’t talk.
  13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
  14. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24-hours a day.
  15. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
  16. Dogs like to go hunting.
  17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
  18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.
  19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died would you get another dog?”
  20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.
  21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
  22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
  23. A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.
  24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad, they just think it’s interesting.
  25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
  26. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
  27. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
  28. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.
  29. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half your stuff.
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3 Comments »

  1. If you’re married, I hope your wife doesn’t read this. If she does, you’re a dead man. All of what you said may be true, but dogs eat their own vomit. I’ve never known a woman to do that. I rest my case.

    Comment by Richard Williams — June 10, 2008 @ 10:49 am | Reply

  2. You are right on the vomit point, but that is still 29 to 1 in favor of dogs.

    Comment by T. Reinhart — June 12, 2008 @ 8:28 am | Reply

  3. I would argue that my one outweighs the other 29. You have to admit, its a killer point.

    Comment by Richard Williams — June 12, 2008 @ 1:03 pm | Reply


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